Want to let someone know they’re loved? Try using actions, rather than words. Love is an action verb…to really feel the love, the other person has to feel the message in nonverbal ways. Your love for someone may not be felt until you really make an effort to put your love into action. If you feel some distance between you and your loved one, saying the three magic words may not cut it, and nothing can bring you closer than showing your love. So prove yourself and your emotions by backing up your words with actions.
For a healthy relationship, it’s important for you to be aware that HOW you and your partner treat each other speaks volumes; and that love is action more than a feeling. This means you must express your love — it’s not enough for your partner to feel it. This is because relationships are all about how two people ‘relate’ to each other; how they show their caring and there are many ways to do this, such as:
- Speak your love: not only by saying “I love you” but also giving compliments or simply expressing gratitude.
- Show affection: Hug, kiss, hold hands, or make love.
- Spend quality time together: Go for a walk together; have long, soul-searching discussions; or, enjoy an evening out.
- Offer gifts (small or big): Buy trinkets or jewelry; arrange for a vacation together; or, offer hand-picked flowers or a beautiful rock you found in the course of your day.
It’s easy to forget the importance of expressing love in the day-to-day struggles of life. On top of that, you may have moments of frustration, anger, anxiety, or sadness; times when you really can’t be there fully for your partner. This doesn’t mean that you don’t love your partner, but that the love cannot be truly felt and acted upon at those times. This is okay and a normal part of any healthy relationship.
How long a relationship can survive this really depends on the people in it; and the particular circumstances. Couples go through difficult stretches for varying reasons (e.g. temporary disabilities due to surgeries, illnesses, death of a family member or maybe you both ‘forget’ to take care of your relationship). Hopefully you will find your way back to a healthy partnership again; or adapt to this new reality (such as when one partner is seriously ill).
Remember to pay attention to how love is expressed in your marriage; and always remember that love is action. If love is not expressed, consider whether this is a pattern that needs attention, and whether it’s a pattern you think you can change. Then, act accordingly. If — on the other hand — love is shown in healthy, nurturing ways, keep up the good work and enjoy.
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